i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
