best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
