**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
