Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
