i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
