okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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