I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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