i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
