i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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