i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
