the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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