I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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