Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
