rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
