Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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