That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
