Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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