You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
