I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
