Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
