Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
