life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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