just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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