so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
