i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think I just sharted jello shots
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