It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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