Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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