It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
