im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
