Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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