If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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