This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
