I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
