dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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