who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
