Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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