So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The feeling are messing with the penis
MIDGETS
????
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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