I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This is the high leading the old right now
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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