i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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