She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
