My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
