Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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