hotel room ftw
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
