ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
