I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
