Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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