I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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