I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
