you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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