It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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