After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
