But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
